The Subtilities of Relationship Building: Social Networking

The Subtilities of Relationship Building: Social Networking

Andrew Scharf discusses how the MBA Samurai understands the subtilies of relationship building and shows how to foster the “right” social links

Viewpoint by Andrew Scharf, Head of the WCW Group

Of all the relationships we have, our friends reveal what type of person we are. The same can be stated for the networks we foster and the groups to which we belong. If you really want to understand the character of someone before you hire them or admit them to a top MBA then examine the clubs to which they belong, examine how they spend their leisure time and you will truly see what they value and their priorities. Are they really the sum of linkedin, twitter, facebook, viadeo or YouTube?

Types of Relationships

According to talking heads, relationships can be broken down into two categories: good and bad. The right type of relationship can bring you enrichment and a room to express your best attributes nurturing your personal and professional development. The wrong type can have an equally powerful effect, and possibly get you into trouble or worse handicap your expectations.

For example, we had a client last year at WCW who like all our clients have high expectations. He was studying for the GMAT but somehow did not take the exam seriously. His meetings with one of our training coaches revealed that the evening before his appointment he would go out till the proverbial cats came home. Nothing wrong here, however, the exuberant outings cut into his ability to focus and stay concentrated.

Parties are fine as long as they are kept in perspective. It does not turn out that the people he hung out with were not doing an MBA nor had any intentions of doing one. They figured what was the point, particularly when the night was young. Their influence was taking a negative toll. Out client was anxiously being persuaded that the hard work to which he was committed wasn’t as important as he originally thought. The end result was a dismal first GMAT result. Fortunately, to his credit, this first disaster was a cold shower. He knew what he wanted and was able to recover from his misguided behaviour. In this case, he had the will. Others we have seen have not.

Career counsellors often attach a great deal of importance to the effect that friends have on us. It is true we cannot choose our families but our friends are another matter. Make the right type of friends with similar interests and motivation levels and you will have the right role models and inspiration. This is one reason the top MBAs all stress teamwork and social clubs. Clubs are organised according to professional interests and community ideals.

For example, if you interested in one day launching your company and are part of the entrepreneurship club, others who share your passion will certainly inspire you. It is of course one thing to talk about service to the community, but when you are engaged on a project such as helping the needy at Christmas you feel a direct link to the people in your community who are not as fortunate as you are. It also has the impact with re-connecting you to your humanity, demonstrating the fragility of the human condition. Each one of us might believe that we are immortal, and we are, but our physical forms are tied to the constraints of the material world.

Building Friendships

“Straight” friends are direct and sincere. They are fair-minded and frank. They will not flatter you but seek your welfare as if it was their own. Their open-hearts will listen to your ideas, and they will not flatter you to gain favour. One great point is that they can foster your own courage to act with decisiveness and not procrastinate.

Procrastination is a bane, which should be avoided. There is nothing ever to wait for. As one sage once aptly stated, “you live now, act now, and can only be present in the now”. What he meant by this dictum was to not procrastinate or find excuses. This does not imply that you shouldn’t make plans, on the contrary. Make plans, but be decisive in your thought and actions. Associating with people of this type will definitely elevate your spirits.

The Role of MBA Coaching

Proper MBA coaching acts in this manner. Sometimes we do not want to sound out friends for fear of disclosing plans, which are not yet ripe. Fair enough. Use your MBA coach for this purpose. He or she will keep your details strictly confidential. Look upon them as a type of business guardian angel. One reason the Whitefield Consulting Worldwide alumni network is so large and powerful is the positive impact it has played in the lives of many of our clients, past and present. It is a pleasure to state that many have gone on to become friends and colleagues. It is the spirit of free exchange and sharing of ideas.

When you find yourself dithering over an idea or problem to use the example of the MBA admissions essay writing and application prep, there is a wealth of expertise at your back not just in the form of your MBA coach but of the entire WCW Alumni organisation. Somehow even if we never tap the network, it is reassuring to know that it is there. The same is true in other professional and personal scenarios. Remember, you are never alone. Counsel is just a phone call or email away. It is silly to brood or mentate. Often well-informed friends will give us an ear and let us brainstorm or think out loud. This is also highly therapeutic to the MBA candidate or job seeker. Reassurance gives the confidence we think we lack at moments, but is always there inside of us. It is just a question of bringing it forward into the present moment.

Bad company or advice on the other hand is like drinking poison. The problem is that it often looks sexy or attractive. We are sometimes drawn to short cuts or the easy way out. The true MBA samurai knows that there are no short cuts and therefore is not drawn to poor company. He or she does not need to be flattered. Be watchful of individuals who constantly repeat how brilliant you are or conversely, always put you down. Their company is unworthy of your dignity and future evolution. Bad company is also not straightforward nor honest. They will tell you what you want to hear and not what you need to hear.

Anyone telling you that you can get into Harvard Business School, Stanford GSB, INSEAD or London Business School without conducting an in-depth analysis of your background, track record, and aspirations is blowing in the wind. Exercise prudence. Also remember, that if the counsel comes too cheap, you will pay a higher price for this mistake at the end. Why make this mistake, when it can be avoided. For example, certain organisations are known for fleecing people by the people who have been fleeced. These firms spread malicious rumours concerning others and are unafraid of slander. Be wise and drop these firms and individuals from your list. The only mask of goodness they wear is the mask of deception.

By contrast, the MBA Samurai walks tall. He or she does not self promote. There is no need for the only success they seek is yours.

For Further Information

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