5 Ways To Make Yourself Irresistible

sprez_irresistible_talent-development
“Because you love magic carpet rides…”

The challenge of making oneself irresistible reminds me of a sage I know who taught her students the art of irresistibility using unorthodox methodologies. She understood that from time to time that her students had lost the plot. So one bright morning when her disciples were all bright and bushy tailed, she took down a manilla box, which sat on a bookcase.

Students being students wondered what in the name of Rumpelstiltskin was going on. From out of the box she pulled a bright and dazzling stone the size of a goose egg. Eyeing the crowd she chose one among the lot to come forth and spoke.

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“Because it’s your smile, which makes you irresistible…”

Go to the marketplace just across the street. Query all the dealers on how much they will be willing to pay for this rock if we decide to sell. Write down every offer. On no account should you sell the stone. When you are finished with your investigation, return and we will evaluate the data you have culled together.

The student humbly nodded, took his field notes and a pen, heading to the door.

Remember, on no account are you to part with that stone“, called out the teacher.

Now this student was a smart and studious hombre. He carefully shoveled his merchandise into his pocket. He was delighted to be entrusted with such an important mission. Only he couldn’t figure out what the point of the exercise really was.

His first port of call on a rather long list was a potato dealer, who sat just at the entrance to the vegetable market. The dealer took one glance at the item and said, “I’ll give you two kilos of rattes.”

Now as everyone knows, the ratte is a potato and a member of the solanum tuberosum family and widely cultivated for its edible tubers. This starchy oval tuber has a brown, red, or purple skin. It is cooked and eaten in multiple ways. Some folks love’em best thinly sliced and fried crispy to accompany a scotch ‘n soda.

As I was saying, the boy dutifully scribbled down the merchant’s generous offer in his notebook. Next on his list was a sheep herder known for the quality of his merino wool. As he approached, the wizened merchant scratched his chin quizzically, and retorted, “I can let you have a flock of 20 sheep tomorrow morning when I bring them down from the hills.” Once again the boy jotted down the relevant information.

This continued for a couple of hours. He must have visited just about everybody. There was only one more visit to be paid. It was considered the finest jewelry shop in town and run by an Italian gentleman from Naples. Once he was buzzed into the premises and stated his business, he was offered an espresso. A specialist came over. He greeted the boy, and they sat down together.

Now show me my lad, the item in question.” So the student complied. The jeweler took his time, measuring the carats, the size, texture and clarity of the stone before responding. “I’ve never seen a diamond like this in all my life. It is gold like the sun and absolutely flawless. I can offer the owner $5m and arrange the necessities of the transaction.

The boy nodded his head. Upon returning to the teacher at the appointed hour, he noticed that it was snack time. Everyone was seated in a circle. The student approached the sage, gave back the stone, and surrendered his notebook. The teacher went through the data, smiled and shared his analytical findings with the class.

So what can you conclude?“, asked the soft but irresistible voice.

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“There’s no point in pulling your hair out…”

One wise guy in the crowd, puffed up his chest and said, “That everything in the market can be bought or sold.” There was disagreement in the ranks, but at the end of a healthy discussion, the students felt stymied, and so the teacher broke in.

Understanding this diamond is not about price. It concerns the principle of self-worth and stands as a symbol of the human heart. You can sell your skills and abilities for a farthing or you can rangle millions like a CEO. However, self-worth does not carry a price tag because you are priceless. Valuing your true nature is never a question of social connections, physical beauty, or job titles. Why seek to validate your authenticity, when you are already the diamonds that you seek.

The Take Away
Do not confuse net worth with self-worth. At some time in our life, we have fallen victim to this one. The temptation to buy clothes, jewelry, and cosmetics become overwhelming. Why? Because we all seek to appear irresistible like celebrities. Why are we so enamored? Because we have conned ourselves into thinking our lives are ordinary and unexciting. We support this false assumption with a little shopping therapy hoping to buy our stairway to heaven. Clearly, this is not the best way forward.

Your sense of self-worth comes from within
Being irresistible means embodying the traits, which radiate positive energy. Start by respecting yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you clearly won’t respect anyone else. John Lennon once quipped, “Love is the answer, but you know that for sure.”

Identify what makes you tick
Motivation is key because not all people are motivated the same way. Some are motivated by power, others by money. Make altruism your key motivator. From this position, you can steer your path on a road to equilibrium. The Buddha was no dummy when he shared the wealth of understanding he gained under a fig tree.

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“When the prophets write on city walls…”

If it’s rock star status that motivates you, fine. Just recognize what Voltaire once warbled to one swell at a cocktail-networking session: “The cemetery is full of Very Important People.” Adjusting your behavior to accommodate people according to your environment is one thing. Denying your authenticity is another.

A better path to networking
Connect with the people with whom you are speaking at a gut level. I don’t suggest quizzing them on Jean-Paul Sartre’s book, Being & Nothingness. Connect with them where it counts. Bill Clinton understands this better than most people. The power of empathy is contagious. Forget trying to be liked. This is not a formula. It’s about radiating the nature of goodness in all things. When you do so, people will look to share your company.

To make this work
Try putting down your iPhone. Focus on the people you’re with. Show interest. Give them the space to speak. When you are comfortable with your Self, you will no longer feel the need to constantly sing your own music. By drawing people out, you put them in their comfort zone and you will have a meaningful engagement. Best of all, you will become irresistible because you will no longer need to try to be irresistible.

Join The Conversation. Let us know what makes you irresistible.

Article Title: 5 Ways To Make Yourself Irresistible
Photographs: curated by ES

About The Author
Andrew Scharf shares enchanting stuff on the topics of marketing, innovation, talent development, coaching, enchantment, and craftsmanship. He is also the head Koi at CAREO, a career management consultancy under the WCW Group brand.

For further inspiration
Visit CAREO: Building One Success Story At A Time

9 Ways To Become More Influential

cows_influential_MBA-coaching-Paris
“La Vache…”

Want to become more influential? Of course you do because making a difference matters. An often debated question. Perhaps your journey should begin with a quick examination of this statement: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few”.

In a single stroke, the Zen master, Shunryu Suzuki cuts through the dross of professional and spiritual materialism. The enigmatic space from which these words emerge show without showing the true meaning of becoming more influential. It is true that you do not need to be a Zen master to be an influential person. However, like in most things, influential people have a profound impact on everyone they encounter. They do so because they are not seeking to persuade or cajole. Their true legacy is achieved because they use their power to alter themselves first.

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“Isn’t it better to cultivate the flowers in your heart…”

Highly influential, John Lennon stated, “You say you want a revolution, well you know, we all want to change the world…” For people like John, changing the world is child’s play. The rest of us are mesmerized by his ingenuity, creativity, and genius. What we don’t see is the complexity, the emotions off stage, the drive to push forward and the need to instigate positive change.

Ever wonder what pushes certain people to achieve things unimaginable to the majority? In my humble view, it is love, which is the axel grease of an influencer. There must be a deep current of joy and being. If there is not, the influencer can implode when they discover they are also ordinary beyond the power of their talents. Another striking marker of influential people is their total absorption. They remain true to themselves by staying focused.

Here are some tips on how you too can become more influential:

Be True
It is not as hard to be an influencer as you think. You do not need to sit in a lotus position every evening before retiring and sleep. However, it is hard to keep our mind pure and to practice the path of well-being in a state goodness.

Great influencers don’t follow blind trends
Do not denounce others when they are filled with negative emotions. Hatred should never be in your bag of tricks. Recrimination and scapegoating wouldn’t even enter an influencer’s mind because their hearts are pure. They understand the principles of karma, are unafraid of making a mistake, and readily change their approach to problem solving when the facts support a mental shift.

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“Are you always on the same line as everyone else…”

Embodying The Power Of Grace
Grace is a power which is always present. However, we must call on this power and make it manifest. When we do so, we can leverage the moment and go outside rituals and routines, which embody the status quo. Influencers understand nothing can stay the same. Everything is bound to change such as the weather, our bodies, our societies, and even our universe. Influencers tap the eternal dream machine in every human heart. Think the Wright brothers or Steve Jobs. They were told by naysayers that their dreams weren’t feasible. So, they laughed with their inner being and went ahead and changed our world anyway.

It is so easy to be conventional
But how boring! We were not put on this planet just to consume food and leave our debris for others to clean up. We were placed here for a purpose. Unless you discover your real purpose, you won’t be capable of influencing anybody including your self.

Great Thoughts Inspire Conversation
When great minds speak out, it’s not just a ripple in a pond. It’s a call to action so we can implement change and make our lives intrinsically better. Take this small chestnut from Epicurus: “One must practice the things, which produce happiness, since if that is present we have everything and if it is absent we do everything in order to have it“.

Applied to a professional environment, the head Koi of any organization owes it to his or her team to give people the power to explore new ideas and to think and act differently. It is hard for corporate cultures to embrace this concept. The problem here is that the gray suit mindset seeks to codify, stifle, and embrace the platitudes of routine by chanting a mantra of profitability at any price.

A great mind would never advocate such an approach. Such leadership seeks to stimulate another path among his or her workforce. They would encourage us to devote our time and energies to work for fulfillment and a sense of purpose.

The Power Of Networking
Clearly, influential people understand the power of networking and making connections. The dilemma is, how well can you build authentic relationships? Nobody wants to feel used. So giving and sharing must hold no strings. It must be reciprocal. Relationship building of this sort is more than a connection. You are fostering a community where the members share their professionalism and friendship.

Welcome Disagreement
Influential leaders welcome diverse points of view. They do not scream nor do they throw donuts. They recognize their own humility. Cultivating divergent viewpoints is healthy in any debate or discussion. New ideas are stimulated in this environment. Sharing ideas inevitably generates the best solutions. So why be selfish? Who cares at the end of the day if the original idea is yours or someone else’s as long as it’s the best way forward for the team as a whole.

Avoid Ignorance
Be Proactive. Our tragedy is that we all scream out, “I am proactive, I am proactive“. Why? Because we have been taught to do so for fear of being weak in the eyes of others. We’re even willing to risk it all because we think it is essential to our well-being.

If this is your attitude, check out what the Tibetan master, Chogyam Trungpa says: “When we talk of ignorance, it has nothing to do with stupidity. In a way, ignorance is very intelligent, but it is an intelligence that works exclusively in one direction. That is, we react exclusively to our own projections instead of simply seeing what is there“.

The wise guys and gals among us don’t fall into this snake pit. They actively seek out new approaches to enhancing our future by living in the present. If you can identify the next big thing, what are you wanting for?

Expect The Best
Influencers expect the best. They believe in their own power, but also believe in the power of others to shape the conversation. Because they are not selfish nor self centered, they reach out, mentor and inspire others. They truly believe that we have the power to change the world for the better.

Every person you admire and respect, had similar feelings as you do. The only difference is that they believed that challenges could be overcome and that a force of well-being could be tapped at will and embolden others. You see, at the end of the day, they didn’t try to become an influencer. They didn’t need to. They just tried to be all they could be and shared their inner wealth. By doing so, they gave us the power to dream and manifest our own destiny.

Join The Conversation. What do you think?

Article Title:
Photographs: ES

About The Author
Andrew Scharf shares enchanting stuff on the topics of marketing, innovation, talent development, coaching, enchantment, and craftsmanship. He is also the head Koi at CAREO, a career management consultancy under the WCW Group brand.

For further inspiration
Visit CAREO: Building One Success Story At A Time